1. Using a video game to learn how to orgasm is ridiculous. When ladies imagine their dream lover, the world Tetris champ probably isn’t their first choice. And the cartoon bunny used in the game isn’t even hot; was Jessica Rabbit not available?
2. Props to Western and city officials for finally planning to fix the eyesore known as Western Road. Once these improvements are underway, Ontario’s fifth worst road might just fall out of the bottom 10.
3. The Robert Q late-night shuttle routes are a great idea. Kudos on a job well Dunn.
4. Let’s hope the Concrete Beach ice rink has better conditions this year. It isn’t impressive enough to draw business from Victoria Park or the Covent Garden, and it’s not even big enough for hockey!
5. There are loads of clothing-related stereotypes about “the Western girl,” but not many for “the Western guy.” This is because the average Western guy spends one minute picking his clothes in the morning, and even then he’s just choosing which clothes smell the least — or maybe that’s just the guys in The Gazette office?
6. Speaking of men’s fashion, nobody has a staler style than Santa Claus. Since our modern image of Santa was popularized by Coca-Cola marketing, maybe it’s time to give Pepsi a chance. That’s right: it’s time to take the Santa Challenge.
7. Wrigley’s promotion in the University Community Centre atrium this week included a handout of study tips, one of which was “Chew gum to improve focus and concentration.” On a related note, The Gazette has its own study tip: read The Gazette.
8. Super Spike V-Ball was a tough omission from our list of top 10 sports videogames. At least the sex bunny game didn’t make the list.
9. Spooning is awesome, but we’re not sure about this “face each other” variation. This method isn’t even really spooning; what could you call it, forking?
10. The Economist might think Canada’s politicians make us uncool, but let’s see: Martin, Harper and Layton versus the likes of George Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac? I like Canada’s odds. As long as we keep winning Olympic hockey gold, we’ll be cooler than the Fonz.
11. We’re all for people celebrating different holidays, but there’s no point in sugarcoating this time of year with the politically correct label, “holiday time.” Frankly, most people focus on the time with the family and the vacation more than they do any religious aspect. People should be able to call the holiday whatever they want, be it Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or even Festivus.
12. And on a final note, anyone upset over a recent Gazette opinion column about people’s eating habits can relax over the holidays. If there’s ever a time to forget about one’s diet, it’s Christmas. Bring on the turkey!