Volume 96, Issue 40
Friday November 8, 2002
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Why waste money? A&E judges CDs by their covers
Lisa
Loeb
Hello Lisa
Artemis Records
MAGGIE: Before anyone says anything else: this is the
cutest thing I have ever seen in the entire world. Lisa Loeb and Hello
Kitty together at last equals one of Maggie's life-long dreams realized.
MEGAN: Putting Hello Kitty on the cover could make any
CD uncool, but this one was Lisa Loeb anyway, so no damage has been done.
DALE: OK, so apparently Lisa's time in the loonie bin
was no help. I say we replace Hello Kitty with Kittie the metal band.
Pavlo
I Feel Love Again
Sleeping Giant Music
MAGGIE: Honestly, it looks like he's about to make sweet,
sweet love to his guitar.
MEGAN: I have a triple request for this "artist":
Please don't take off your shirt. Please don't take off your shirt. Please
don't take off your shirt. Thank you, that is all.
DALE: Just looking at this guy makes me want to warn
children to beware of strangers offering candy. Whatever this guy is giving,
I don't want it. I'm surprised he could take enough time away from staring
at himself in the mirror to make a CD.
Barney
Cummings
Heartbars
Dogboy Records
MAGGIE: Is that a branding iron? Man, you can tell this
guy's serious about music. I don't like that glazed look in his eyes...
I'm scared.
MEGAN: I wonder if Mark's Work Wearhouse paid Cummings
for this promotion? I'm sure all the rednecks are breaking down their
doors.
DALE: Someone has to teach this guy how to make a proper
pretzel. No offense Barney, but you're a little creepy, big guy. Next
time, if there is one, try not being on the cover.
Conjure
One
S/T
Nettwerk
MAGGIE: If you ask me, there's just not enough Pavlo
in this one. Bo-o-ring. Then again, maybe he's behind that weird tower
thing?!
MEGAN: The yawn-inducing blandness of this cover is reminiscent
of all things Kroeger. Are we sure this band is not called Nickelfault?
DALE: Every time I look at this cover, I keep expecting
to see apes in battle armour riding horses in the background. Not to mention,
does anyone else get a phallic vibe from that building?
Rasco
20 000 Leagues Under The Street: Vol.1
Pockets Linted Entertainment
MAGGIE: There is very little about this one that's not
cool. But how did his shirt and "bling bling" stay so clean
after a visit to the sewer?
MEGAN: Ah, Pockets Linted Entertainment – is there
anything they can't do? All I want to know is, when is Volume II coming
out?
DALE: Best cover ever, in that "not really"
kind of way. It's great because it's so bad. He even has his headlight
tilted slightly to the side. That's the epitome of cool.