Outside the Box

White Cowbell Oklahoma
White Cowbell Oklahoma
Independent

The official White Cowbell Oklahoma website (www.whitecowbell.com) could easily be mistaken as trailer trash pornography, designed for folks with huge gaps between their front teeth.

But, upon further inspection, one realizes that White Cowbell Oklahoma is actually a band.

Often compared to Nashville Pussy and the Hick Glicks, WCO is the epitome of all that is wrong with America today.

With 27 members, they prefer to call themselves an orchestral arrangement led by T'Boo Hollis Gentry Cartwright IV, Tabbacy Biscuit Brown, Destructo Dougie Deerslayer and the one they call "The Colonel."

Their self-titled record embodies enough filth and debauchery to make a Jerry Springer episode look like Polka Dot Door.

It's hard to define WCO's music. Their compositions can be best described as "free flowing sounds that we fuckers put together when we're all stoned and drunk and hung-over and greased up from all them spicy Kentucky Fried Chicken wings that Clem and his brother bring over," as states Sherma-Rae, the pregnant, chain-smoking bodyguard of the group.

With over 20 "instruments" – ranging from plastic washtubs to the orgasmic yelps of Sgt. Snakefelcher Humboldt – the beat and melody of a WCO song is unique.

Unlike traditional groups, WCO has chosen to market their gigs through mobile home magazines. The group says this allows them to "find and carve out their own little niche."

Very few people will ever catch a glimpse of WCO live. They prefer to travel incognito and usually organize gigs at the very last minute. For those who do see WCO, it is nothing short of a life-changing experience.

The Colonel is usually seen in a typical cowboy hat and Speedo, with his body greased up with lard. Harland "Hammerhead" Cusworth, the group's viola player, is dressed in a skin-tight black plastic catsuit and Rev. Sprinkles, the priest and MC, dresses in nothing but a G-string made of sage.

Aside from the provocative garb, the group entertains with sporadic side acts. It's not surprising to see the band stop in the middle of a set to watch the Colonel copulate a chicken or invite the audience on stage for a good ol' fashioned mud slinging.

Needless to say, White Cowbell Oklahoma is not for the faint of heart. But if you're tired of listening to recycled mainstream music, this group may just be the cure for your woes.

–Robert Wong