Recombobulator: the finale

Sadly, this will be the last installment of the Recombobulator. The time has come for our techno-pal to go into retirement. In time, he'll learn to embrace his retirement, probably move to Florida, drink lots of prune juice, play backgammon and yell at inanimate objects.

Q: Right now, it's after Labour Day, but it's also before Labour Day. Like, when can I wear white again? –Puffy Vest Mafia, Arts III*

A: Being puffy vest wearers, you should be well-versed in all aspects of fashion. What's next? You gonna ask me if there's a such thing as too many Abercrombie tops?

Q: What's the best way to prepare a delicious turkey? –Heather Trevelyan, MIT I

A: "Turkey, I don't know how to tell you this, but the time has come for you to meet your maker. Hi, I'm [insert name here]. I'm going to put stuffing in your ass, eat you, then have a well-deserved nap."

At this time, I feel I must come clean about something: no one ever really sent any questions to the Recombobulator – they were almost all made up. In fact, I have nothing more than a lukewarm hunch that anyone ever read this. Like a father whose son struck out at every at-bat throughout an entire T-ball season, I gave my support unconditionally.

*This is a real question!